My Dearest Amy,
It still remains too difficult to remember the gift of your presence in my life and how we jammed so much into our 27 years together. So much love, tears, smiles, laughs, arguments, hugs, support, fierce loyalty, raw honesty, compassion, forgiveness and an ability to accept each other at face value.
Your admiration and devotion gave me confidence and courage. You reminded me, and anyone who would listen, how grateful you were to have me as your mother and always put a note in Grandmom’s card thanking her for me.
Your father, brother and sister love me, but I cant help but wonder if your soul knew that you were going to leave me and if that is why your loved flowed so openly and freely? I hate the universe for stealing you but wherever you exist now is truly a “better place” because you are there.
I want to forget I am lost in this world without you but I always want to remember that I was blessed to be loved completely and unconditionally.
I want to forget that I have to live the rest of my life without your physical presence and if only I could forget that Sunday mornings remain my personal hell.
But I want to always remember every moment we shared together and find the grace to be grateful that I am loved by you.
I always want to remember the gift of you, the gift of pure love and for the love that continues to flow between this mother and her child.
Just like the song you played for me … I will see you again. This cannot be the end. Until then, I will carry you with me in my heart.
Happy Valentine’s Day Amy!
Love – always your Mom