My thoughtful friend Ann sent me the article below which I earnestly hope you can open and read. I wish I could copy it and go door-to-door to hand it out to those of us who are struggling to keep ourselves together during this “holidays hurt” season.
The link at the bottom of the page looks weird, but seems to work so please let me know if you are able to open it and if you cannot, email me at Dee.firstname.lastname@example.org and I will send you the PDF. Or google “Handling Grief During The Holidays Fox News.”
This morning I had my old familiar grief wake up call at 3:43 a.m. reminding me that my Amy had died but today’s wake up call also reminded me Oh No, It’s Christmas Eve! So many traditions which will never be revisited and no energy to begin new traditions so we stumble through these holidays as best we can. It breaks my heart to witness the look on my children’s faces as we gather just the four of us searching for a semblance of who we were and desperately trying to convince ourselves we can find a way to survive our family tragedy. I love my husband and children so much and feel so helpless because I cannot fix this …
As the holidays came onto my fellow grieving friends radar, with dreaded fear in our eyes and hearts, we all found ourselves holding our breath and asking each other how we planned to “get through” the holiday season? Every day hurts, but holidays scream a new complicated excruciating reminder of who is missing and how wrong it feels to exist without that piece of our heart. The pressure to engage for others just compounds every aspect of it and makes my head spin. Once again I find myself existing in the peripheral of it all. Is this what an out-of-body experience feels like?
So many unrealistic expectations keep getting tossed around as a means to reset me. Focus on the “true” meaning of Christmas … Is that what you are doing over the course of the next two days? Of course I realize the true meaning of this holiday for my faith. However, after that hour or so in church, how many among us devote the rest of the day to the Holy Family or their on religious or non-religious belief? You look down that pew and see your loved ones and that fills your heart. You walk in that front door and immediately take your own personal inventory of the loved ones in your own family. What do the tv commercials and December tv shows focus on — family! So tell me what is the true meaning of Christmas for most of us — FAMILY! All I want for Christmas is who is gone.
To all of those among me who are suffering through the next two days, my broken heart hears your broken heart. I am struggling without my precious one and my empathy is endless for those of you who are doing the same. Peace be with you.
Always remembering my lovely sweet Amy — living and coping without her hurts in a way I will never be able to explain. This is not intentional wallowing but instead the ramification of living without a piece of my heart here. Yes, there are those who leave our lives who cannot be replaced by anyone or anything in life. They helped us to breathe, love and thrive. They were indeed that significant to us so I beg you — don’t ever diminish their importance in our lives by suggesting otherwise.
Link to article: