So it is 12:08 a.m. and a new year. I am awake despite my efforts to sleep through the turning of the calendar to another year without Amy. I didn’t drink any wine with dinner tonight because I had a therapeutic massage today in an effort to release some of the grief toxins and it is recommended to drink only water for the next 48 hours. I admit I am not much of a drinker so even 2 glasses of wine may have been just enough to relax me so I could have possibly slept through the festivities going on at the stroke of midnight.
So I dug out my headphones and plugged it into my iPad and listened to a meditation download which just my luck ended at 11:56 pm last year. As the fireworks started going off here, it sounded like thunder which seemed much more appropriate to me than a celebration of a new year without Amy.
I have no new year’s resolutions. Just getting through another day in paradise takes up so much of my energy.
I do wish everyone a peaceful new year. Sorry, but I can’t bring myself to say “happy” anything at the moment. But who knows what this year will have in store for me. Not as if I saw what was coming my way in 2013 so I guess you could say I believe anything is possible. I can’t help but pray that our family is spared any more heartache, but I already know that God’s gonna do what God’s gonna do despite my earnest prayers. It’s all just part of the freaking plan.
Well it’s still “thundering” here. Think I will turn on my white noise machine and set it to rain. Oh what grievers have to do to get through a night…
Always remembering my sweet angel Amy.