I don’t share much about Amy. I focus mostly on the pain that living without her has caused yet I think about what Amy added to my world each and every day. I am finding it more difficult to live among those who do not acknowledge the loss of Amy.
They have fallen neatly into three categories:
The Pretenders, who will just talk to you like you are the same and pretend you didn’t lose your daughter, or worse yet, that Amy never existed.
The Invisibles, they know but they do not have the depth of character to call, write or search for the words to comfort you or even communicate with you. Their need to stay in their happy place overrides their conscious choice to disregard you and your family. Since I am new to this journey, I will have to wait and see if they will resurface when they think the coast is clear.
The Compounders, they know, and some of them knew Amy well, yet they continue to vigorously pursue their own agenda with total disregard as to how their actions affect us. Unfortunately, I am forced to interact with them so their ability to compound my pain is ever present.
When family and good friends fall into any of the above categories, the ramifications of their actions hurt more than I am able to admit.
Thank God for those who are able to step out of their own personal comfort zone and are willing to venture periodically into my world and take a hard look at what losing a child does to someone. I must always remember how blessed I am to have their support. They are the brave warriors who I hope I will never scare away when I rant about the ones who continue to hurt me and my family.
Make no mistake it is difficult to exist in a world with those unscathed by loss. I want what they have, yet I know sadly their day will come too. Hopefully it won’t be as horrific as the loss of a child. And their cross won’t be as heavy or life altering. Hopefully, they will be surrounded by support despite their inability to give it those that needed it and were hurt by their absence.
Write and release. I continue to do that and really do pray for the day that the pain that others have caused me will no longer be a topic and I am able to write more about those that are helping me. However, based on this post, you can tell sadly who is getting most of my attention.